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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735065">You Lit Up My Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endlesswanderer/pseuds/Endlesswanderer'>Endlesswanderer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Humor, Bisexuality, Broken Soul, Cute, Depression, Doctors &amp; Physicians, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Love, M/M, Might make you cringe, Sad, Some Humor, Swearing, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Terminal Illnesses, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, heart condition, lonely, might make you cry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:07:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26735065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endlesswanderer/pseuds/Endlesswanderer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Will, a 23 year old surgeon with alcoholic tendencies lost the love of his life when he was 17. His only motivation in life now is saving people with similar cases to his lost love, he is pretty much dead otherwise. People don't even try getting close to him anymore as he only responds with a rude remark. That is until a new nurse starts working with him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Thinking about you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This is a first attempt at a story, I love this community and I want to contribute a little if I can :))<br/>Hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"AAAAAghh!!"</p><p>I woke up in an instant with tears pouring down my sunken in face, the nightmares woke me up at least three times a night nowadays. I don't even dare falling asleep anymore without at least having one overfilled scotch, which often becomes many many more. I’ll drink til I pass out on the floor just to avoid the memories that float up in my mind when I can’t distract it with everyday nonesense. I always tell myself right before I drink that it isn't a necessity, that I can quit if I want but that’s complete bullshit and I know that. I just can't fill the hole that still after 6 years is wide open. I still am fucking nothing without her, you broke me April, I was neutral before I met you, nothing made me happy, nothing made me sad, now I'm like this, so fucked up, so fucking pathetic...not your fault, of course it isn't, it's mine. It's entirely mine. I don't hate you, I love you, I STILL love you more than anything. People always tell me <em>"please move on, you can...for April, do it for her, and for yourself". </em>How could I? How would it be possible after the impact she had on my life</p><p>I allowed myself to wallow in my misery for a couple of minutes before I, like clockwork got up and got ready for the day. I passed by the clock in the kitchen on my way to the bathroom and saw that it was four AM.</p><p>"wow! Quite a successful night of dreadful sleep, two hours longer than most" I said aloud with my usual deep, ironic snark before I started getting ready for the day.</p><p>I am a cardiovascular surgeon, which in simpler terms is a surgeon who operates on hearts and arteries for a living. April would've laughed in my face if she knew, I can picture her exact reaction without even having to try.</p><p><em>"You? a surgeon! hahahah but you faint when you see blood, oh darling you must be joking hahahahah, just kiss me you little jokester"</em> Her face would light up with crescent eyes and dimples on full show. I sharp jab at the memory brought me back to reality.</p><p>I would have agreed completely 6 years ago, but then again, her death was the single reason that I chose this career in the first place. When she was laying there in a single white and uncomfortable bed in room where all the equipment in the world was available and surgeons with all kinds of specialities visited. When the only fucking thing they told us with a clinical coldness was that there unfortunately was nothing they could do. That the love of my life now was a living timebomb with an aneurysm the size of a grapefruit. That April would blow and slowly bleed out right infront of me in that sterilized awful horrendous environment the next time her blood pressure rose. The blood pressure rises with joy, heartbreak, arousal, anger and any other feeling was present, my April was thereby reduced to nothing, being an emotionless blank slate was the only way for her to survive and everyone knew that was something that she could never be, for her it would be a fate far worse death. A knowing look from April and a quiet but pleading "Kiss me" told me what she wanted. We said our quiet goodbye, she spoke with her parents and said goodbye and then I kissed her while drowning in tears with all my might until the the beeping from the pulse machine was exchanged to a single tone. That was the moment that I chose this profession. I became determined to save those with the odds stacked against them, no one would have to give up on themselves or their loved ones. I wouldn't be a fucking coward who cared too much about my reputation to take on a dangerous case. I would never give up on an 18 year old girl who still in pain and misery laughed and spread joy to whomever it was that visited.</p><p>And I did. I didn't eat or sleep or exist after April, I was a calculator. Studying was the only thing I did for four years. I went to medschool in the shortest period of time possible and I didn't care about people or faces. Everything passed by me except my textbooks. Some may think that this is ridiculous for a teenager who lost a girlfriend. Believe me many people have told me. Mom sent me to 15 different psychologists who all said the same thing and sure, I get it. I understand that people might think it's excessive but those people strongly misunderstand the love I have for April.</p><p>I still remember the first time that I met her, she was a year older than I and she was one of the popular girls. I was niether a girl nor popular so I basked in her sunlight from afar. I knew that she wouldn't notice me, the stereotypical spinky kid who no one really noticed, and I was right.<br/>April had her own issues at the time, No one really truly noticed her either, she never let on that anything was wrong. We had been informed that she had a disease of some sort but most of us didn't think that it was a big deal. Sure April had a wheelchair for long distance walking and she was unusually thin but people just accepted that that was the case and moved on with their day. April disappeared a lot as well, I overheard that she had gone through an operation one time and then I saw her in the corridor a week or two later, as joyous as always. So all of us thought that the disease was mild. How could I not fucking see her, I hate myself for standing there basking in her sunlight and giving nothing back. But I was a kid, I didn't know, the only thing I knew back then was that I wanted to talk to her. I had just decided to walk to her and compliment her yellow converse when she suddenly let out a horrific scream.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter was mostly just an invitation into their world. The chapter is shorter than what the rest will be since I had to stop at the cliffhanger like the awful author I am. </p><p>Hope you liked it and the new chapter will be updated in 2 weeks :)</p><p>English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any spelling or grammatical errors. </p><p>I would love to hear your thoughts! </p><p>see you in the next update</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. How We Met</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Second Chapter! yay! This will be more of an introduction to Will and April's time together, hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! :DD</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April's facial expression turned from excitement and joy to pain and desperation in a single heartbeat. She mimicked someone screaming and I could see the pain that erupted within her like a bolt of lightning. No actual sound was heard for the first minute or two. I don't even think she was breathing for the first 30 seconds. April, the girl who had given everyone around her joy. Who had given me hope for a better tomorrow turned into what looken like a character a horror flick. She fell to her knees and a scream as painful as stepping on broken glass erupted from deep within her. We were kids, no one knew what to do, so most of us just stood in our places frozen while April suffered and some who thought it was all a prank began filming the incident. I somehow broke out of the trance that had come over all of the spectators and forced my feet to start moving. I ran to her side, I truly don't know what kind of adrenaline shock I got at that moment, but I acted fast and with conviction. My memories of the incident are still very fuzzy but I somehow called an ambulance and spit out all the necessary information in one sentence.</p><p><em>"Hello you have reac..." </em> "Yes Hello, a schoolmate of mine is screaming and I don't know what to do... I think she has some kind of prior heart condition we are at Kingsley High School please come as fast as you can I believe it's really urgent so please just come now!!!!. ". I'm still amazed at how the Telephone operator could hear and understand anything of what my crazed self was saying. Fortunately she did, the woman must be used to adrenaline high and terrified people reporting accidents. The walls echoed with the pained screams from April but everything else was as silent as death was. I caught myself wondering if the other student's had ever been this silent before it was not something that I was used to atleast. April was in such a state of pain that she couldn't control her body. She was on the ground, thrashing to probably get away from the pain for just a moment. I therefore placed her head in my knee while we were waiting for the ambulance. What surprised me the most when I looked down at her face was how extraordinarily calm her eyes looked even in this emergency. It looked like April's eyes weren't a part of her screaming face, they just piercingly stared up at me and I could see just how knowing her eyes looked. I knew then that she was aware of exactly what had happened, her eyes told me that she had been through this before.</p><p>You might be wondering where the teachers were at this moment and why they haven't entered this segment of the story. Well you see they were busy calling the school's insurance company and discussing the consequences that the school might face if someone died on school grounds, yeah I'm completely and utterly serious and they are sick in the head. Fucking capitalists I swore a couple of weeks later when I found out where they had been (I'm not a communist just so you know but you should have some sense of empathy for a student who WAS NOT YET DEAD). Other teachers were a part of the staring sea of students, almost as if they were students themselves, teachers sure are nothing more than children posing as grown ups at this school. </p><p>The intensity that was burning between me and April when her head was laying in my lap is so hard to depict. It was almost as if we were communicating even though no words were spoken. I could sense how scared she was and she could sense how scared I was and we left it at that, I tried to comfort her without making anything worse, I ended up slowly stroking her hair too try to make her think of something else even if that was impossible. She was still thrashing but not as intensely as before and time passed by almost without anyone noticing. Before I knew it the principal came with two ambulance drivers and I was instructed to leave her side and return to class along with the other students. It might sound extremely crazy to you but I didn't want to leave her side. I had never talked to her and she along with the whole school probably had no idea who I was, but I just couldn't leave her. Not when she didn't have her parents there to comfort her. I just couldn't leave her alone when I had seen fear almost dripping off of her so I said clearer then I had in all of my time in school. "I am not leaving her, can I come with her in the ambulance?" I even lied and said that I was her friend just so I had a legitimate reason to be worried. Something in me made me want to be by her side atleast until her parents could be with her. Better with a stranger than nobody...Right? I was honestly really fucking scared that I might have made the wrong decision. What if I just acted like a creep and inserted myself into her life when she didn't want it. Fuck what if I who had liked her for a while and honestly was building up the courage to talk to her just imagined that she seemed scared. I became disgusted at the thought and told myself to apologize and explain everything to her later when she was able so comprehend what I was saying, not now though, now I had a task and that was to try to comfort her as best as I can. One of the two ambulance nurses/ drivers (I truly never really asked what they were) told me that it was alright for one person to come with her in the ambulance and since all of her supposed friends still just stood there in chock with mouths gaping. I quickly got up and followed a now drugged April into the ambulance and drove of to the hospital.</p><p>The ambulance drove faster than any car I had ever been in before but I didn't think about it for more than a millisecond. April took up all the space in my mind. I wondered for a little while if I should contact her parents but decided against it for three reasons. 1. they don't even know who the fuck I am, 2. It's better to hear from a medical professional than a teenage boy that their daughter had been driven to the hospital in an ambulance after she fell down on the floor screaming from pain and 3. I had no way of contacting them. So I just sat on a seat in the ambulance and watched as one of the ambulance nurses, whose name apparently was Marcus took all kinds of tests on a sleeping April. Drugged to silence by painkillers. Boy did she look peaceful, like nothing was wrong with her. I knew otherwise though, I could tell that this was only temporarily, that Marcus soon had to give her more morphine to make her calm once again. The one thought that never moved from my mind as we sped of to the hospital was that life was so fucking unfair. April had given me energy and a motivation to keep coming to school for 2 years now even when she must have lived in a constant realisation that something like this would happen sometime in the future. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I would have stopped living from the fear of it all.</p><p>The ambulance arrived at the hospital after just a short while and she was wheeled into the ER (Emergency Room) on a screeching stretcher. I tried to follow them but a doctor stopped me infront of the ER. "You're unfortunately banned from following them further, you see April has to go into an emergency operation right now. Do you know why?" She said in a manner that actually made me want to listen and not bolt through the doors just to catch a glimpse of April. I answered with a head shake and the doctor continued. April has been my patient for the bigger part of her life, she has a condition that makes the walls of her arteries very brittle. So they expand unlike ours from just the blood that pumping through them. I probably looked like a question mark because she only paused before once again tried to explain. "Imagine a balloon, a balloon can stretch around the air that is blown through it but when you let the air out it turns back to it's original form. That is how our arteries work, you see, the pressure from the blood that pumps through the veins makes them expand. Normal arteries are elastic enough to pump along with the blood and they can resist the pressure from the blood. April's condition or mutation has made it so that her body is missing the protein that makes the arteries elastic, the arteries in her body can therefore not hold their shape. They begin to slowly expand over time and after about a year or more they are so big that they start to rupture. That is what happened earlier, two of her three artery walls began to rupture. If they had ruptured completely she would have bled out in just a few short seconds. So you saved her life, the way you acted when you called the ambulance and then from what I heard from the ambulance staff tried to hold her still saved her life and I am eternally grateful as her mother. May I ask what your name is?" I who had only listened gave a cough at the "you saved her life and oh I am her mother" part of the conversation. "Oh, wow I'm ehm right yeah Will, I'm Will" "And I didn't save her I just tried to help, I never knew that she fought so much just to live, I see her sometimes and she just seems so carefree and happy...How does she do that?" I realized to late that I was crying, fuck what right do I have to cry right now this was her mother, she was the one with a right to cry...I'm not even someone she knows. "Hello Will, you seem scared, I'm scared too, is it alright for me to sit with you outside for a moment? you seem to really care for my daughter." And so we did, we sat outside the hospital in silence for what seemed like hours...maybe it was. I thought about April but also about myself, about my life. Sure it hadn't been a dance on roses for me through life but I thought to myself that I at least could try to think positively about my live, be a little optimistic for a change. For the first time in a long time I felt that I had to fight to enjoy life. If April can I can as well...right? I sure hope so.</p><p>Our time of silent comfort was interrupted by my extremely erratic ringtone. <em>Mom</em> was on the caller ID, yoo fucking hoot, I honestly didn't dare to not answer even if all I wanted to do right now was to go back to my silent thoughts. I finally pressed pick up and got a <em>"Where are you! I have been waiting for you at school for 40 minutes now!! I even went inside and a teacher said that you went in an ambulance, TO THE HOSPITAL. Is that not something that you tell your mother huh???"</em> . My mother said in a manner that over the phone sounded angry at the least and if I'm being completely honest completely terrifying, you see my mother was very rarely this angry I knew that I had fucked up big time "I'm sorry mom, everything happened so fast, a friend of mine had to go to the hospital and I rode along with her to keep her company, I'm sorry for not telling you, I forgot in all of the turbulence. I honestly prioritized trying to help a friend in real need over updating you on where I was at every hour of the day. I am truly so so soooo sorry". I feel kind of bad at the sheer amount of Irony and spite that my voice was filled with. But I had more pressing matters than my mother's anger to deal with right now so I uttered a quick bye and returned to my thinking on a bench beside April's mom...wait oh no fuck April's mother was still there and had heard me snapping at my concerned mother. "I'm sorry dr...mrs...ms? Blanchard". "Celia is enough" she said with a smile that completely contradicted her redshot and crying eyes. "Oh okey, I'm sorry doc.. Celia for yelling like that at my mother, it was rude of me, I apologize, I was just a bit frustrated". "It's alright". Nothing more was spoken between us except a quick goodbye when we had been sitting there for another 50 minutes and I remembered that I should return home if I didn't want my mother to give me another "uplifting" call. I took a bus home and thought about April the whole way. Is it possible to be inspired by someone who didn't choose to be an inspiration, and whom I truly did not know a single thing about. Maybe...Maybe not, she was for me at least. I had to learn to give life a chance. I had finally decided.   </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Her Point of View</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone!<br/>I am finally updating, too long I know, I just wanted it to be right and I am still not completely happy with the result but yeah, it is what it is am I right? :D </p><p>I reference myself for all the hospital related stuff (I have the same disease as April) I also base some views that she has in the chapter on myself. But I am not April, she is not based on me other than that. I just felt that I wanted more representation of the heartsick community!</p><p>I hope you will have a good read through and please comment if you find anything that could be improved upon. <br/>I would love to hear your thoughts!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"No, Nonononononno! not now, not here! please, be a false alarm, please be arrhythmia or something. NO non o please please please fuck no. NO NO! nON NOT NOW!" </em>My thoughts turned to rampage mode in just a few moments, I had become so used to the signs, the pain and the helplessness that I knew in an instant that the searing, stabbing and burning pain within me erupted within me meant that it was my time to "Shiiine" If you will... that last sentence is dripping of irony if you didn't catch that.</p><p>I knew that it was to late and that I would have to endure the all that was thrown at me. I knew I wpuld terrify everyone around me once again and that I would embarrass myself by screaming, puking and cramping from pain in the middle of the hallway. I STILL however begged every supernatural being, every god, every single miniscule inch of hope in the world that I was wrong. You see my whole life was built on the foundation that I'll never show others when I'm crumbling, it might seem silly when it's hard to avoid emergencies...It's just how I function though. I have for as long as I can remember been deadset on never letting anyone see me as a sick person. I was April, I was not sick April...I know that it's hard to understand for those of you who aren't sick. To give an example...hmm alright so there aren't any...you'll just have to imagine my situation. I have grown up with my disease, it's a part of me, sure but only a very small part and this is my life, this is what I have grown up with, I am used to it. So pity makes me feel small, like people who pity me remove everything else of my personality and see me as nothing more than a charity case, "poor April Blanchard she has to use a wheelchair sometimes and misses out on everything we have in our life, I would never be able to live like her".. Can you feel it? what I feel every time someone sees me in a wheelchair and gives me the look that tells me more than any words could. So I do everything in my power to never slip up to be such a big personality that it's hard to even notice the pain and exhaustion. I would lie if I told you that it wasn't draining to act that way. I have hopes to one day be able to be true to myself and everyone around me without having to hide, I would just like to be left the way I am without strangers pity. I am therefore desperate to make people see me as a person, because that is what I am. I wouldn't pity someone just because they have a huge zit on their face (okey not theist example but it's the only comparison that I could think of). Moving on, believe me when I say that I know that it's fucked up to think like that when I could die, but death doesn't scare me. I'm used to the notion that I could die in a matter of seconds. What I'm not willing to lose however is myself. So while I'm standing there in those fast, seconds before I tumble to the ground the only thing that I can think of (except the pain) is to pull my shit together and get out of there, to just run to the nearest bathroom and fall apart there without the curious glances from the students and teachers around me...But it's too late. I already know now I for the remainder of my high school years will be remembered as the girl who rode an ambulance and began screaming in school, the girl who always causes scenes, some will call me attention whore and poser behind my back and others will never again view me as an equal but rather the schools charity case. I realize far to late that I'm loosing my foothold and suddenly all I can see is the dusty ceiling. I hear a high pitched sound that goes on and on and on and I don't realize for a long time that it is my deafening screams that I am hearing, only then can I shut my mouth and silence myself. But the pain is everywhere, it occupies my whole being and devours me whole, the thoughts that were on a rampage moments earlier turn silent and the ceiling is the only thing that I focus on. That is until I feel hands grabbing my head and suddenly I my view of the ceiling is exchanged to two worried deep golden eyes. Everything turns black after that. That is what I remember from the day, spoiler alert, I made it. Barely I might add. So here I am with a notebook on my lap in the sterile bed that has been mine for 4 days now. Saying that I hate my life right now is an understatement. The room that I am residing in is for a start white and grey from top to bottom, I am all alone since none of my friends dare to see me like this surrounded by the beeping machines with a big scar down my chest (added to the collection I might add). So my only way of escaping the hospital hell is by watching series and lord have I done that way to much so here I am writing in a notebook that my mom brought me saying <em>"Honey, you're becoming quite isolated and sad which have become quite pathetic by now from watching all those tv- series, you have to do something else, here! I brought a notebook for you to write in. A lot of patients write to relieve stress, so try it out!! and don't you dare go judge it before trying young lady."</em></p><p>I became quite surprised after trying it out, it's really therapeutic in a way. This is what I have written so far -</p><p>- I realize that the biggest luxury of living my life is that nothing is granted for me, I realize how that sounds but hear me out. I appreciate just getting out of bed a morning, going down the grey staircase and just watch the way that the sun fills the morning sky. Super cheesy I knoow! but it's true, because many of my mornings have been spent in a dark ICU (Intensive care unit) Shackled by tubes upon tubes entering and exiting my body...wow this is not going as smoothly as I hoped, you're not pitying me now are you? I realize that I'm not good at making people stop pitying me (which is why I never show my disease to people). Let me just try, here I'll keep on telling my story and you'll try to not pity me or see me as the poor, sick girl! sounds like a deal?...</p><p>...</p><p>I'll take your silence as a yes.</p><p>Now then lets continue, why is my life so awesome? well I am fortunate enough to never care about being stupid or saying the wrong thing, the attitude to life that I have gained from being on the brink of death All.The.Time makes it all worth it I just by living the life I want,  like one of those cheesy quote signs <em>"Live everyday as if it is your last".</em> I believe that I have the absolutely best coping mechanism on earth as well, I cope by being extremely morbid...much to my mothers joy and my fathers dismay (He cries too easily). Another benefit in my life is that I try to really value even the simplest of things. That includes studying, fighting, laughing, falling, scraping my knees, ugly dancing, ugly singing and so so so many more thing, so no day is the same and joy is always there.</p><p>The negative side? well I never get to close to anyone, for their sake of course!! I have always wanted a romance similar to the one in <em>The Fault in Our Stars</em>, someone to call me by my middle name and miss me when I die. April Yua Amaterasu Blanchard... is however unfortunately is a liiittle longer to say than Hazel Grace which kind of ruins the whole idea...Try for yourself? easy..nah not really am I right and I know that it's extremely selfish to want to ruin a partners life by dying, I just can't help but dream about it. My ideal person would just be by me through it all, hold my hand and laugh at my morbid jokes maybe drop some of their own, someone who can see me with the tubes, the medicine pumps and the scars and not pity me. The love story in The fault in our stars is however overall way to magical and fluffyduffy to ever be real. So I keep my distance, I'm friends with everyone but not close to anyone for real if that makes sense. I just wouldn't want to screw up other peoples lives. But it really fucks me up sometimes, I feel like I am such a waste of food when I won't achieve anything or leave a grand mark after me... perhaps that's why I'm writing in a journal as If I'm writing a book or some shit, I'm truly pathetic, writing to a journal... Well at least it can't get hurt if I happen to die in the middle of a sentence ;)).</p><p>So my life is wonderful, it truly is, I get to live and see sunrises, sunsets and starry skies. I get to laugh and meet people, I get to dream of a future. It might seem extremely illogical and or idiotic but I wouldn't change my life even if I got the chance, wow even I cringe a little...It's true though, I truly love how my upbringing in and out of hospitals have made me strong and appreciative of the little things.</p><p>So to introduce myself. My name is as previously mentioned April Yua Amaterasu and my last name is as so so many of my fellow Canadians Blanchard. I am one of few Japanese girls who were able to get adopted internationally, the only reason for making it possible was that I was diagnosed with my condition early on with no chance of survival. My birth name was apparently Yua Takahashi, Yua apparently means "Binding love and affection"... and I like to think that my birth mother, who had to give me up since it was to expensive to have a sick child gave me that name to keep her love bound to me. I however know very little about her, she disappeared after she gave me up and left no contact information to my adoption agency. My mom and dad who chose to adopt instead of having biological children went through an extremely long adoption period and brought me, a 4 year old girl home the third of April 2005. My dad apparently looked at me at the orphanage and said right away...in a single breath, "She's glowing Celia!! oh darling she is ours, she is finally ours. She is like a glowing sun darling!!! Her smile Celia, do you see her smile?!?!" and began hysterically crying, this little story has for obvious reasons been told to me growing up and I can say that it's the one story in our family that stays the same, every other story becomes a little more bizarre every time one of us tells one of them. My name became April from when they after 3 years finally brought me home, Yua as a middle name to honor my mother and my biological heritage and to keep me bound to the love she gave me. They finally gave me the middle name Amaterasu which means sun goddess from how I apparently only smiled growing up.. as well as the little story about my pops. Speaking of my pops, his name is Henry Blanchard and my badass mother's called Celia. Mom was studying medicine when they adopted me and later became my cardiologist, your mom is not really supposed to be your doctor but I have two which kind of makes it alright. I really enjoy the fact that I feel safe though with her. The type of disease that I have is highly aggressive and my mother is one of few who specializes in it which lead to her being the only one experienced and specialized in my city which made it obvious that she would become my other doctor.</p><p>A knock on the grey door to the hallway interrupts me, I call out <em>"come in"</em> expecting it to be a nurse or doctor behind the door. I was wrong however, I realize that the moment that familiar eyes that I at the moment couldn't place enters my room</p><p> </p><p><em>"Hi" </em>he says, carrying a bouquet of yellow fiery flowers in his arms.</p>
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